illness

lately i have complained about being tired (note the title of this blog is musings of the sleep deprived) and i figured this just had to with micah teething and being up all night but after discussing my symptoms with my ob/gyn while discussing getting put back on birth control she had me go see an endocrinologist. after talking with her and having her feel on my throat i was sent for an ultrasound and the next day i had more blood drawn for testing. after i got home from having the blood drawn i got a call saying that i have a "growth" on my thyroid and that once they run my blood they will figure out a course of action to regulate my thyroid and then do a biopsy. so now.... we wait. a lot.

we have to wait on the blood work to get back and then i'll have to get on some kind of medicine depending on what's wrong... it's still possible that something else is wrong on top of the tumor, like graves disease. and then i'll have to be on it for a while so i'll have to wait while my body regulates and THEN i can get the biopsy done. and wait around for results. at least i should have some answers soon and hopefully the meds will help with what ails me: the tiredness, the tummy issues, the headaches, the mood swings, the hot flashes.... stupid thyroid.



on a totally separate note i hate the new look of the blogger home page :P

10 months

micah is 10 months old today and i feel like, even though i've been home with everyday, that i've missed on his getting bigger.

when did this happen? who told my little baby he could become a big boy?! he's crawling every where, is pulling up, cruising, and has 2(!!!!) teeth!

i'm not ready. i want him to stay my little baby. but i am also really excited to see the big guy he's going to be... sooner than i wold like

so big

took micah for his first haircut today. it breaks my heart that he's already big enough for that to be happening. something bittersweet about all these firsts because we don't plan on having anymore kids. now every first is also a last. it's the last first haircut. it's the last first solid food. it's the last first new tooth (which he still hasn't gotten) but it's exciting to see him grow up and become so big and crawl around chasing his brother but it also breaks my heart that soon i will no longer have a "baby" but a little boy. i'm not sure that i'm ready to let go of baby things... but "ready or not here we come"

blah

in case you didn't know, being sick is lame. even worse is being sick and having a child who is sick... thank goodness the husband is well cause sick man trumps sick anything else in the house. big babies.

i'm just worried about being around my kiddos. one of them gave this nonsense to me so i fear us passing it on to big brother. hopefully the wellness fairy strikes soon.

exciement and disappointment

excitement: micah started pulling up on things and standing on his own yesterday. i am completely unprepared for him to be a big boy, but it's really exciting to see it happening before my eyes.

disappointment: i interviewed for a job last week and found out today that they offered someone else the position. i really want to start working and gaining experience so that i can start working somewhere i actually want to be, but i am kinda glad that i'll get to stay home with the boys a bit longer.


i guess everything has a good and a bad side... like the song says- behind the clouds the sun is shining, even though you can't quite make it out. there may not be a silver lining, but there's a big blue sky waiting right behind the clouds.

bah

get really irritated with my beautiful family yesterday. trying not to let it get me down or take it personally but sometimes something little happens and you just want to curl into a ball and cry.
and i did.
but not for long, thankfully i fell asleep quickly and napped instead of being a big, sissy girl.
hooray naps.

art

after working on some projects for some friends (and now trying to brainstorm something for the new nursery in my brother in laws house) i have discovered how much i miss painting and getting to be creative. hopefully i'll be able to set aside time for myself to do some work in the future. it's like cheap(ish) in home therapy. and since most of these were done over a decade ago i know that the therapy lives on.

 my first initial, a quilt design (for my great grandmother), puzzle pieces(life is a puzzle), raindrops (i love the way water plays with light when it rains), rainbows (Gods promise that he will not destroy his people), and butterflies (personal transformation from something that felt it had no worth through meditation and reflection into something beautiful)

husbands christmakkah gift; all our important dates. 5.7.80- my birthday; 9.10.81- husbands bday; 12.23.05- proposal date; 3.10.07- wedding; 6.2.08- elijahs bday; 6.10.11- micahs bday

'across the universe' part of a collection of space/beatles themed projects

a cows thigh and hip bones

this was a boy meets girl project called "wobbly"

"eyes" this is a pencil and paper enlargement of a photo of courtney loves eyes. i'm not abig fan of hers but the picture was perfect for this project. thinking of doing another f the boys eyes for my bedroom

"baby adam" this was created specifically for a friends baby room. on the inside it says 'may you always have what you need'

there is another painting to be posted as soon as i can get with a friend to give her the anniversary painting. :)