new things

in the last week micah has become a more prolific walker, has learned to climb up onto the couch unassisted and has started leaning in for kissed and will even grab your face if you're not giving enough... i'll let you guess which one of these things i find super adorable and exciting and which 2 i'm dreading cause its another level of watchfulness i'll have to start on....

waiting game

so i haven't posted a lot lately as things have been very busy in the last few weeks. my mom had her right knee replaced, my father was placed in the hospital for clots in his lungs (again), and micah was having some digestive problems. but mostly because all of my posts would have been about my own ongoing medical issues. last month i went to see me ob/gyn to be put on birth control and told her about some problems i was having. she worried that there was more going on than just hormones so she ordered some blood work. i was then sent to an endochrinologist. she checked out my thyroid and sent me for an ultrasound and a ton of blood work. my blood work came back saying i was "shockingly low" in vitamin d (so i have been put on a prescription for that, for now have to have more blood tests in a few weeks) and positive for celiac disease, an autoimmune disorder that means i can't process gluten- i'm sure i will have to be put on a gluten free diet... but not until after i see the gastrointerologist next month. my ultrasound results came in and i have a growth in my throat about 1.4cm long (which doesn't sound very big to me but apparently in the throat, that is gigantic). they said someone would call to schedule a biopsy.... so i waited.... and waited.... and waited for someone to call and set up the appointment. i finally got fed up and called to get it set up myself (apparently they were really behind in calls). finally got in for my biopsy on thursday and they stuck me in the neck with a rather large needle to numb the area and then took pieces of the growth to run tests on. they said i would have results tuesday. so i went home (after getting a little sick when the lidocane wore off) and hung out in bed while watching harry potter and ricky took care of the boys. we left for dallas the next day to go check on my parents and see our moms for mothers day. the doc called on friday to let me know that i do not have cancer... at this time. they want to see me again in 6 months for another ultrasound and it can always change. in the mean time i'm trying not to worry about it and let my mind forget that it's there... which is hard cause my neck is really freaking sore. but that will get better soon. thanks to all of those who sent prayers and good thoughts my way. i really appreciate it.
and now to elijahs very first dentist appointment.... i'm sure there will be a story there...

illness

lately i have complained about being tired (note the title of this blog is musings of the sleep deprived) and i figured this just had to with micah teething and being up all night but after discussing my symptoms with my ob/gyn while discussing getting put back on birth control she had me go see an endocrinologist. after talking with her and having her feel on my throat i was sent for an ultrasound and the next day i had more blood drawn for testing. after i got home from having the blood drawn i got a call saying that i have a "growth" on my thyroid and that once they run my blood they will figure out a course of action to regulate my thyroid and then do a biopsy. so now.... we wait. a lot.

we have to wait on the blood work to get back and then i'll have to get on some kind of medicine depending on what's wrong... it's still possible that something else is wrong on top of the tumor, like graves disease. and then i'll have to be on it for a while so i'll have to wait while my body regulates and THEN i can get the biopsy done. and wait around for results. at least i should have some answers soon and hopefully the meds will help with what ails me: the tiredness, the tummy issues, the headaches, the mood swings, the hot flashes.... stupid thyroid.



on a totally separate note i hate the new look of the blogger home page :P

10 months

micah is 10 months old today and i feel like, even though i've been home with everyday, that i've missed on his getting bigger.

when did this happen? who told my little baby he could become a big boy?! he's crawling every where, is pulling up, cruising, and has 2(!!!!) teeth!

i'm not ready. i want him to stay my little baby. but i am also really excited to see the big guy he's going to be... sooner than i wold like

so big

took micah for his first haircut today. it breaks my heart that he's already big enough for that to be happening. something bittersweet about all these firsts because we don't plan on having anymore kids. now every first is also a last. it's the last first haircut. it's the last first solid food. it's the last first new tooth (which he still hasn't gotten) but it's exciting to see him grow up and become so big and crawl around chasing his brother but it also breaks my heart that soon i will no longer have a "baby" but a little boy. i'm not sure that i'm ready to let go of baby things... but "ready or not here we come"

blah

in case you didn't know, being sick is lame. even worse is being sick and having a child who is sick... thank goodness the husband is well cause sick man trumps sick anything else in the house. big babies.

i'm just worried about being around my kiddos. one of them gave this nonsense to me so i fear us passing it on to big brother. hopefully the wellness fairy strikes soon.

exciement and disappointment

excitement: micah started pulling up on things and standing on his own yesterday. i am completely unprepared for him to be a big boy, but it's really exciting to see it happening before my eyes.

disappointment: i interviewed for a job last week and found out today that they offered someone else the position. i really want to start working and gaining experience so that i can start working somewhere i actually want to be, but i am kinda glad that i'll get to stay home with the boys a bit longer.


i guess everything has a good and a bad side... like the song says- behind the clouds the sun is shining, even though you can't quite make it out. there may not be a silver lining, but there's a big blue sky waiting right behind the clouds.